#BeMoreKid - what if the key to finding yourself is remembering who you were before the world told you who to be?

A few weeks ago, I finally ticked something off my bucket list.

I went to LEGOLAND.

Now, before anyone rolls their eyes and reminds me it's "for kids", let me tell you... it was brilliant. I wandered around grinning like an eight-year-old, admired the ridiculously clever LEGO builds, went on the rides, and generally had a fantastic day.

And it got me thinking.

As adults, particularly as neurodivergent adults, we spend so much of our lives trying to be more grown up, more productive, more sensible and more socially acceptable.

But what if we need to be doing the opposite?

What if we need to be more kid?

Somewhere along the way, we lose ourselves

One of the things I notice most often when I'm working with neurodivergent clients is the gap between who someone is and who they've learned to be.Years of masking, fitting in, meeting expectations and trying not to stand out can slowly move us further away from ourselves.

When I ask someone, "What do you enjoy?"

The answer is often... "I don't really know anymore."

Not because they don't have interests. Because somewhere along the way, they stopped focusing on them.

Your younger self left clues

When we're trying to reconnect with ourselves, I often encourage people to think back to childhood.

Not because childhood was perfect.
Not because we should live in the past.

But because our younger selves often left us clues about what lights us up.

Ask yourself...

• What could I spend hours doing without getting bored?

• What did I collect?

• What fascinated me?

• What made me lose track of time?

• What did I dream about becoming?

• What games did I invent?

• What did adults constantly tell me to stop doing?

Maybe you climbed every tree you saw. Maybe you read books under the duvet until midnight. Maybe you were forever doodling, dancing, building dens or making up imaginary worlds. Or maybe you couldn't stop swinging on your chair... (I definitely had a habit of twiddling my hair.)

Those little habits often weren't random. They were your nervous system finding comfort, stimulation or joy.

Play isn't childish

Somewhere along the way, we've convinced ourselves that play is something we're supposed to grow out of.

I don't think that's true.

Play helps us experiment.
It helps us learn.
It fuels creativity.
It reduces stress.
It strengthens relationships.
It gives our brains permission to wander instead of constantly performing.

As therapists, we talk about play all the time because it creates safety, flexibility and curiosity. It gives parts of our brain permission to come online that are often switched off when we're busy surviving.

For neurodivergent people especially, play can be a wonderful form of self-care.

Not because it's productive.

Because it isn't.

You don't have to play like a child...

You just have to give yourself permission to enjoy things.

That might be:

• Visiting a theme park.

• Building LEGO.

• Flying a kite.

• Jumping in puddles.

• Collecting Pokémon cards.

• Colouring.

• Rock pooling.

• Roller skating.

• Watching trains.

• Climbing a hill just because it's there.

• Spending hours making something with your hands.

Joy doesn't have an age limit.

Or maybe... start again

Sometimes childhood doesn't hold many happy memories.

That's okay too.

You don't have to revisit the past to rediscover play.

Instead, become curious. Notice what people are doing this summer.

Notice what makes you think, "That actually looks quite fun..."

Maybe this summer is simply permission to try something new without worrying whether you're "too old" for it.

Because who made those rules anyway?

Tips

🎈 Follow your curiosity

If something makes you smile, don't dismiss it because it seems childish.

🧸 Ask your younger self

What did you love before life became so serious?

🌳 Schedule play

We schedule meetings, appointments and chores. Why not schedule fun too?

🎨 Do something you're bad at

Play isn't about being good. It's about enjoying the experience.

💛 Let joy count

Not everything has to be productive to be worthwhile.

And if you're not sure who you are underneath the responsibilities, expectations and years of masking, I'd love to help you rediscover that person.

Through Choose Your Way and the conversations we have in ND BrainSpace, we create space to reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have been there all along.

Because perhaps growing up isn't about becoming someone new.

Perhaps it's about remembering who you were before the world asked you to be someone else. 💛