When Your Values Say “Be Good” but Your Brain Says “Ooh, Exciting!”

Karma is a Right Judgemental Drama Queen!!

Last week, my air fryer door came clean off… mid-chips.
Some people would say, “These things happen.”
I, on the other hand, am convinced it was karma — a cosmic nudge that I haven’t quite been living in line with my values lately.

You know those times when you know what matters to you — family, integrity, kindness, doing the right thing — but then your brain whispers, “Ooh, look at that!”
Before you know it, you’re halfway into an impulse purchase, a late-night conversation, or a slightly questionable decision that felt very exciting at the time.

The Neurodivergent Tug-of-War

My brain has two main settings: justice warrior and magpie.
The first loves rules, fairness, and doing the right thing.
The second loves dopamine, novelty, and anything that sparkles — literally or emotionally.

When those two collide, it’s chaos.
One half is tutting in disappointment… the other has already added something unnecessary to the Amazon basket.

The trouble is, we often judge ourselves harshly afterwards.
Shame creeps in:
“I should know better.”
“I talk about values all the time — how could I?”

But this is part of being both human and neurodivergent. Our brains crave excitement and justice at the same time — which is a bit like trying to drive with one foot on the brake and one on the accelerator.

Helpful Tips

Pause before you pounce.
If something feels thrilling or urgent, give it an hour.
If it still feels aligned later, go for it.
If not, your nervous system probably just wanted a burst of novelty.

Name the need.
“I want this because I’m bored / lonely / under-stimulated / overwhelmed.”
Knowing why softens the shame.

Balance the scales.
If you veer away from your values, gently realign rather than self-punish.
You don’t need an air fryer funeral to reset.

Find safe excitement.
Create dopamine on purpose:
A new playlist, spontaneous walk, hobby, doodling, sensory treats — rather than something that needs an apology, refund, or £££.

Get in Touch

If you’re juggling values, impulses, and that restless drive for something more, you’re definitely not alone.

Take five minutes this week to write down your top three values, and one playful way you can honour each.

And if you’d like support finding that sweet spot between meaning and novelty, you’re always welcome to book a session at Choose Your Way.

Your air fryer — and your peace of mind — will thank you.