ND BrainSpace Surviving the Season: the ideas!

The holidays often come wrapped in fairy lights, warm wishes and a lot of expectations. But for many neurodivergent people — busy brains, sensory sensitivity, shifting routines — December can feel more like a pressure cooker than a cosy celebration.

Over our recent ND-BrainSpace session, folks shared what really stresses them out at this time of year… and what helps. I’m drawing on that — plus what research and lived wisdom say — to share a few low-key, brain-kind holiday ideas.

🎁 What tends to pile on the stress

• Overload of tasks & expectations — cards to write, presents to buy and wrap, events to attend, parties to get through. When you’re dyspraxic or dyslexic, wrapping neatly or writing legibly can feel like impossible missions.

• Sensory and environmental pressure — bright, noisy shops; crowded homes; disrupted routines; changing plans and unpredictable social demands.

• Social expectations & emotional pressure — mixing family/friends/partners, attending work parties, forced jollity, unrealistic expectations to “have fun”, meet old traditions, socialise when your brain is drained.

• Emotional load & guilt — comparing to past traditions, wanting to “get it right”, wanting others to be happy, dealing with underlying family dynamics, worrying you might let people down.

• Overwhelm from “all the things” — too much food, too many social events, back-to-back celebrations, adverts and social media telling us the season “should” be magical, bright and perfect.

Many neurodivergent folks describe the holidays not as restful or joyful — but as exhausting, anxiety-provoking, and overwhelming. That’s valid. And it matters.

🌿 What helps: ideas from ND BrainSpace group

1. Prioritise the small, meaningful things

Not everything needs to be done. Choose 2–3 things that matter to you — the rest? Let them go or simplify them.

• Maybe you don’t write Christmas cards this year.

• Maybe you buy gifts from one place — or set a firm gift-budget limit.

• Maybe wrapping is chaos—but you wrap once, and call it good enough.

The goal: December that’s manageable, not manic.

2. Protect your energy: boundaries are not mean, they’re kindness

Social events — work drinks, family gatherings, mixed-household chaos — can crush a nervous system.

• Let people know your intentions in advance (manage thier expections/set a boundary!)

• Go late, leave early.

• Bring your own low-stim or alcohol-free drink.

• Have a “dog-walk” (or “fresh-air”) exit plan ready — and use it.

• If you need to, invite in breaks or stagger time spent: no one says you must do all the things.

Sometimes, the kindest gift to yourself is saying “no thanks”.

3. Create soft routines and sensory safety zones

Holidays can throw routines out the window. For neurodivergent brains, that’s a recipe for overwhelm.

• Keep one anchor routine: maybe a daily walk, a cosy tea ritual, a bedtime routine — whatever grounds you.

• Choose comfort clothes over “festive-appropriate” outfits.

• Opt for calmer shopping (quiet times, online), or skip it altogether.

• Use gentle lighting — fairy lights, soft lamps — instead of harsh bright lights.

• Build in rest time between events.

Routine doesn’t have to mean boring. It can mean safety.

4. Redefine “holiday magic” — make it what you need it to be

Forget the adverts, the social media fairy-tale. The “perfect Christmas” rarely exists. What matters is what feels doable, nourishing, restful for you.

• Love films, music, lights — but if they trigger you, skip them.

• Prefer quiet nights over busy parties? That’s okay.

• Want small gifts over grand gestures? That’s valid.

• Celebrate partially, slowly, gently. Do what feels good.

You don’t need to meet an external holiday standard. You create your own.

5. Talk about it (if you can). Share the challenge.

Sometimes the weight of expectations and unspoken pressure becomes heavier when you’re alone with it. Talking with someone — supportive friend, partner, or fellow neuro-divergent soul — can help you feel seen, lighter, less “wrong”.

If you find yourself holding guilt, fear, overwhelm — you’re not alone.

💬 A Note for Counsellors, Coaches & Allies

If you’re supporting neurodivergent clients or loved ones over the holidays: ask curious, gentle questions.

• “What feels possible for you this December?”

• “What’s one small thing you’d like to protect or let go of?”

• “What are your warning signs of overwhelm — and what helps soften them?”

And help them redefine “success” — not as a sparkling Christmas, but as a December that doesn’t break them.

✨ Final Thought

Holidays don’t have to be a celebration of perfection. For neurodivergent brains, they can — and maybe should — be a season of pacing, permission, and self-compassion.

You get to choose what December looks like. Whether that’s fairy lights and films... or pyjamas and peace.

You’re allowed to choose to do it your way.