Practical Tips for Navigating Seasonal Small Talk 🫠
Seasonal social events can be… a lot.
Work dos. Family gatherings. Christmas drinks. That weird limbo between “it might be nice” and “I would quite happily hide behind the sofa instead”.
If small talk makes your shoulders creep up towards your ears, you’re not alone. Most people feel some level of nervousness in social situations – even the ones who look like they’re smashing it.
Here are some kind, practical tips to make seasonal small talk feel a little more manageable.
1. Prepare (without over-preparing)
A little bit of planning can take the edge off.
Before you go, it can help to check in with things like:
How am I getting there – and can I arrive as calm as possible?
Is there someone I know I can gravitate towards if I wobble?
Do I have an exit strategy if I need one?
How long do I actually need to stay?
It’s also worth asking yourself: Do I genuinely want to go – or do I feel like I “should”?
Sometimes attending for 30–45 minutes is enough. You don’t have to earn a medal for endurance.
2. Do a little gentle research
If it’s a work event (or even a family gathering), giving yourself a bit of context can help you feel less on the back foot.
That might look like:
Checking who’s likely to be there
Refreshing your memory on what people do
Asking a trusted family member for a quick recap (“Remind me… whose partner is that, and do they have kids?”)
You’re not being sneaky – you’re giving your nervous system a head start.
3. Questions are your best friend
If words disappear, questions can rescue you.
Most people respond well to being asked about themselves – it shows interest, curiosity, and warmth. It also takes the pressure off you to perform.
Some easy, fairly safe seasonal questions:
“How was your journey here?”
“Have you got any time off coming up?”
“What’s work like for you at the moment?”
“Have you been anywhere nice recently?”
From there, you’ll usually find some common ground that makes the conversation feel easier and more natural.
4. Have a backup plan for awkward moments
Sometimes conversations drift into topics that feel uncomfortable. Sometimes there’s an awkward silence. Sometimes your brain just… blanks.
Having a quiet escape plan can really help:
Going to the loo
Refilling a drink
Spotting a friendly face you can drift towards
Agreeing a subtle signal with someone you trust
You’re allowed to step away. You’re not failing at socialising – you’re regulating.
5. A word about alcohol 🍷
It’s very tempting to use alcohol to settle nerves – and for some people, a small amount can take the edge off.
But it’s worth remembering:
Alcohol can increase intensity rather than reduce anxiety
It can make your more impulsive, and dysregulated
It makes reading social cues harder
It often makes people louder and more likely to overshare
If you drink, doing so mindfully can make a big difference to how comfortable and present you feel.
6. Most people are more nervous than they look
This is a big one.
Many people who seem confident are actually just processing their nerves out loud. Talking lots, being animated, or dominating conversation doesn’t mean someone is relaxed – it’s often their coping strategy.
Introversion isn’t a flaw. It simply means you process internally rather than externally.
There is no “right” way to be social – despite what the world sometimes suggests.
7. Honesty (with the right people) can be connecting
You don’t owe anyone your vulnerability – but sometimes a gentle bit of honesty helps.
Saying something like: “I often feel a bit awkward at events like this” often leads to relief, warmth, and connection. You might be surprised how many people respond with “Oh thank God, me too.”
A good rule of thumb: Look for people whose energy feels familiar. The ones you recognise yourself in.
Find your people. Form a little pack. Stick together.
Final thought 💛
You’re not broken because small talk feels hard.
You’re not doing it wrong because it takes effort.
And you’re definitely not the only one feeling awkward in the room.
Be kind to yourself. Pace it. And remember – leaving early still counts as going.